Sigil: City of Doors

Hi everyone, IÂ’m going through a pretty rough time and could use the support of the community.

Recently I was banned from the player-run Discord, at first I was told it would be only a temporary few day ban. However, a week passed with no word, and then finally I was told that the council had voted to permanently ban me. ThereÂ’s no singular event or reason for this; rather I was banned for being me, being myself. I never really got a chance to say goodbye or to defend myself.

IÂ’m not claiming to be perfect: I have issues with social cues, letting topics go, and thinking larger than life on many things (yes exaggeration and conspiracy theories). Yet, IÂ’m still a person with feelings, a human. This overwhelming feeling of rejection by people I thought as good friends is really tough to deal with. ItÂ’s not all doom and gloom, along the way I met some incredible people such as Albacksen, Sinlinara, ArcaneDiggleBee, and more who treat me as an actual person. For this I am deeply grateful.

Even in my final days people who once hated me, such as Alexander Gabriel, had warmed up to me. People did praise me and ask for my opinions on things, and even went so far as to show the highest form of flattery: to imitate me by changing their nick name to one inspired by my own.

I truly had no malice or ill intent toward the Discord chat, rather I really just wanted to fit in. Perhaps I tried too hard, but the moderators wanting me to completely avoid topics, to submit lines of text to them to approve before postingÂ… it was too much. I just wanted to be myself.

I donÂ’t blame the council who voted against me, or anyone else. Rather, I forgive them. I still want to be their friends despite this. Hating is easy, forgiving is hard. As the months pass, IÂ’m hoping in 2018 or 2019 that they will give me another shot.

In the meantime, since the OOC room rule is in place and IÂ’ve very few friends and no real way to keep in touch with people I would implore that if you wish to remain in touch that you join a discord chat I created as sort of a safe place:
https://discord.gg/9h3FBR8

Also, if the only thing you have to post in reply is something negative to try and bring me downÂ… I beg you choose to remain silent. ThereÂ’s nothing good that can come from such posts.

Thanks everyone!

Hello Dae-glyth.

The recent ban that you received a week ago was truthfully placed for just a week. You have been in contact with one of the moderators that you could ask all these questions to freely. I believe you have also got told a reason as of to why you got banned.

You have been in close contact with me, and we have been having quite a lot of conversations. My attempts on helping you were exactly because of the things you just have said yourself: you have issues with social cues. I have no ill feelings for you, and I respect you as a person, but there is a point where one have to say it is enough. You have been sent in, in discord terms, time outs quite a few times because of controversies that you kept bringing up time after time. Offering the help to avoid such situations, where not a way to censor you but a way to help you understand what might be causing troubles with a given subject. In the end, I did ask you to avoid certain topics completely, as you did not take on my advice nor did you try to ask into things. It is true, be yourself, but that does not make consequences vanish.

I have defended you quite a lot, because I understand the troubles you are telling that you have. That said, there have been some recent discoveries about your behavior that have been less than optimal, and I will send you a message with further information about that since I do not feel it is fitting for public posting. I have been trying to help and defend you, but there is a point where enough is enough.

All this, together with several complains, made us have a vote. You have had a lot of times where you have had chances to improve, and a lot of chances to voice your defenses, but you even seemed to take a pride in being causing so much trouble in the end.

I tried, Dae, but there is only so much I can do. This is purely just my own opinion on this.

Thats why we have a IRC chat. 2 chat rooms.

If you give people a button, they're going to want to push it; they're just waiting for someone like you to come along and hurt their feelings so they have an excuse. That's how it is with internet chat rooms, used to be that way 15 years ago when some idiot put me in charge of an IRC room, I doubt people have changed very much since then.